January 6, 2013

How to Find Time for Your Spouse in 2013

In one of my earlier posts, I stated that it seems like every year (since I’ve had children) goes by faster and faster! While I enjoy watching the months go by, my children grown and the seasons change…I don’t like the fact that I get so busy with life in general that I lose precious time with my spouse.


My husband and I went and saw Parental Guidance last weekend and the adult daughter was having a hard time leaving her kids with her parents so she could go with her husband on a business trip. Her mother (Bette Midler) pulled her off to the side and told her that she needs to go be with her husband because her children are all going to grow up and then she will be left with her husband.

Take a minute to think about that statement. It’s true. Our children are going to grow up, go to college, get married and start their own lives, leaving us with our spouse. Therefore, while it is important to spend time with our children, if we spend all of our time and energy focusing on them and not our spouse, when they leave, we will essentially be left living with a stranger. So, this year, why not make a promise to yourself to spend more time with your spouse. Here are a few suggestions for how you can do it.

1. Rent a movie. I understand it’s hard to get out when you’ve got kids, especially little children. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a little time alone with your spouse. Rent a movie and make plans to have a “movie” night after the kids have went to bed. Go all out and pop popcorn and drink your favorite soda too. Just spending two hours curled up on the couch together once or twice a month (without the kids) will do a lot for your relationship.

2. Hire a babysitter and plan a date night. Spending time with your spouse does take a conscience effort from both of you. Sit down and look at your schedules and plan a night out. If you plan your date night a few nights or even a week or so in advance, finding a babysitter shouldn’t be any problem. Treat the date like a real date. Take the time to shower, fix your hair, put a fresh batch makeup on and wear something special. After all, a night out on the town with your love without the kids is something to celebrate!

3. Take a mini-vacation. I’m not quite why so many people believe that parents shouldn’t go on a vacation without their kids. My parents feel this way, and I think it just may be a more traditional way of thinking. While I do think it’s important to get away together as a family, I don’t believe that every vacation should include the kids. Therefore, schedule a romantic getaway for you and your spouse sometime this year. You don’t have to go far, maybe just a bed and breakfast a few hours away…wherever you go, make sure it’s just you and your spouse. Leave the kids with the grandparents for a few days and get away. Even if you can only have one three-day getaway once a year, those three days can breathe new life into your marriage…and in years to come, when the kids are grown and gone, you’ll be glad you spent time away from the kids with your spouse.